I'm Changed

Before
I was in denial.
Now
I need to support myself.

Before
I didn't care.
Now
I love my life

Artificial

Everywhere I go
Everything I'm gazing at
Doesn't fit
Everything I touch
Isn't natural
It isn't supposed to be there

Every day
On my way
I see shreds
of beauty
Against artificial
ugliness
Green pressed against grey
Blue pressed against manmade

It only grows
Each day
Decaying slowly
Day after day
And they all say
You must add to the decay
We'll judge you
Insult you
Make you desperate
and force you to help us
create an artificial world
Give your all or all you'll give
If you want to have a life

nothing i think
really means
anything to you
anymore
does it?

a tree could
drop dozens
of apples on
the ground
but when you
think about it
the ground
never asked
for them
in the first
place

a bug could
tie itself
up in silk
and emerge
years later as
a beautiful creature
but how do
we know
the bug doesn't
feel cheated?

a man could
spend millions
on an
amazing house
filled with
gold and silver
and rugs and
indian patterns
and pleasing
incenses
but he would
still be filled
with pain at
not finding love

i could paint a beautiful painting of you but it would feel so small
i could say a million words about you but still feel like i've said nothing at all